i think i see you in my nightmares. my therapist says i am insane. i say it is the heartache.
for once i wish to forget what it feels like to be forgotten, even if it means forgetting you. i wish i hated you while you loved me, so then i will know how it feels to be forgotten by me like i have been forgotten by you.
i scatter myself into piece like broken mirrors at my feet because it is better to be broken than to let them see me bleed. i tape myself back together and hope that they will never know what i have done.
i want to rip out my fucking hair because you are the reason i can’t breathe but you are also my air.
i hope you drown, sink to the ocean floor and let the fish swim among your bones.
it doesn’t matter if you stay or go. i promise this, i will still see you in my nightmares.