opening

[PRESS PLAY]

there is no light in this
place where i reside.
my eyes go black and
there
is
only
condemnation.

can you imagine being devoid?
a soul like nothingness.

what allows you to imagine?
what allows you to wonder?

[PRESS REWIND]

once i had felt the light.
once i was the light.
now i am lost, eyeless.
if only i could unsee.
if only i could unspeak.

what to do when such
secrets blind you, silence you.

[FORWARD TO THE FALL]

i thought i was sunlight.
i thought i was kind.
now i understand
i understand.

nothing can be undone.
it can only be remade.

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danger

you want to believe they will grow to miss you. you know you are wrong when you say they will realize what they let go. they never made a mistake; you didn’t either. it was a flame meant to suffocate. while you got hit with the explosion, they had lit the fuse. they were walking away and left you to pick up the mess that was made. what pieces of belief you had were shattered; you worked so hard to put them together. soon, your skin will harden to protect those parts of you that are so naive. bombs will fall around you, and you will get knocked off your feet. but the more they happen, the stronger you will grow, and the easier it will be to pick yourself up off the floor. this is what life is. this is the danger of love. this is the danger of hope. this is the danger of trusting anyone besides yourself. you can’t even do that anymore, though.
you will grow.

Mercy

They have slain the life
who lit my eyes alight.

They have slain the sky,
in all colourful starlight.

They have slain my flame,
leaving dead coals unbright.

And they have slain
all my feeling.
My moon, my sun,
all is dead and gone.

And they have slain
the mercy inside me.
I will break the stars
to bring back what was
ours.

Now I have slain,
and as you wait for me,
in the skies beyond the sea,
know you were my mercy.

ocean

i remember the soft sand
that never burnt my feet
because you were with me.

i remember the calm ocean,
where the waves were soft.
on the shore we got lost.

i remember the salt smell
that had felt so cleansing.
you were my best friend.
the ocean, you, and the sand.

i remember the sun’s reflection
that rippled with the water,
and your eyes were never brighter.

i remember the shells we found,
waist deep in water or just wandering.
with you i had never felt calmer.

but the night was cold
while our hands were warm
as we floated in the starry water.

In the Green

I flip through the atlas’s of the world.
Hundreds upon hundreds, here I am buried,
beneath maps and charts on old parchment.
The seas and the lands and all that come with.

But I choose to only search for you.
I trace your favorite places I know you run to.
The warm, turquoise oceans, colorful reefs.
I follow the rivers, but there is no sign of you.

I even find the icy mountains, with snow
enough to bury, avalanches that drown.
You can survive in many places, ones
I dare not search, fearing I will find blood.

But instead, I find you in the very place
you decided to hide from. I find you in
the fields and grass, I find you in the flowers
the same color of your golden hair.

I find you in the thickest of forests,
prancing with the stags, their antlers as
high as the treetops. I find you hunting
with the wildcats, gently fierce in your attack.

I find you in the reflection of the greenest
emeralds, in the dustiest of golds. I do not
find you in the color of ice, as I thought I would.
Instead, I find you adorned with my colors.

The green of the wildest lands.

an angel observes the horrors of humanity

my superiors wish me to write of this world. well, what am i to say? it is bright here, the atmosphere is heavy. i feel as if i am a drop of darkness suffocating in a pool of light. their eyes, they scrutinize me. but oh, how their air smells and tastes sweet, as if that is not heavy at all. as if breathing it does not hurt my lungs so much that i struggle to breathe each night as i fall asleep. how sad it is to see them cut and kill flowers because they think they are beautiful, yet only to cut and kill themselves because they think they are not. i have never experienced something as astonishing and burdening as humanity.

they cut and kill their animals, too. i have eaten meat, but at least i remember the animal it came from. here they do not care. they purge and swallow as if the mean is not rotten. it tastes sweet to their tongues, but i will not touch it. some animals they do not kill; they lock them in cages. i will admit the sight is one to see.

their rivers aren’t even pure. many of them contain some kind of human pollution. though the water is clear, the fish still die. what beautiful scales have been wasted to be made into garments. what beautiful furs have come from slaughter. these people, everything they consume paints their lips red like the rising sun. it is a disgrace to my name.

even the birds are not free. they fly away from smog that kills not only the animals but the humans too. it even makes my eyes water, my breath stutter, my heart flutter. what a wonder and a catastrophe humanity has been. how have they survived here, and how long will they continue to? how can they just ignore their planet dying, as if it’s not the only one they’ve ever known?

oh, how i wish they could see. humanity is a disaster now out of any time, but it is also phenomenal. there are boys that walk on soft and hard ground alike, never flinching as the soil stick to their feet, or pieces of their feet stick to the soil. the only remarkable thing of note is their strength. their taste for change. many of them, i see it in their hearts. it is a strange thing i’ve noticed, what they call each other. is not all love acceptable? are not all identities correct? what matters is that they are all human, but many of them do not think that. it is irritating.

yet through it all, they are all strong. they have moved from sucking the life from flowers, to sucking the life from all around them. they still refuse to listen to the force that they claim guides them, when it says all is not well. when it shouts at them that change is needed.

i think i have come to a conclusion; humanity is repulsive.

fine print

what a lovely thing it is
to know
you gave your heart
but not
your soul

yet you still lost it all
because you forgot
that when you signed
your heart away
your soul was
the fine
print.

this is what you get
when you try
to share
your life
with another.